A lot of clients commence their sessions with a lack of clarity about their future, and this is often attributed to perceived obstacles in their life (career, family, relationships, finances or health).  A key element of achieving a breakthrough with these clients is attaining the shift from seeing the obstacles as being external to them, and recognising that the obstacles are almost always grounded in their own thoughts, beliefs, values and identity.

I found this quote a few weeks ago, and it is a concise and powerful reminder that the obstacles we see in our lives are 10% reality, and 90% attitude.  Enjoy!

And until next time, focus on the results you want to achieve.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Charles R Swindoll

(Writer, Clergyman, born 1934~)

I picked up the skills required fairly quickly, and with my ski instructor or my husband by my side to supervise me I showed a great deal of confidence and ability.  By the end of the week, after 10 hours of instruction, my lessons were over.  I had some time before I was to meet my husband for lunch, so I decided to tackle a slightly harder ski run on my own.

There was a T-bar lift on a slope which I'd been skiing for most of the week.  During lessons my instructor and I would disembark at a flat level half way up the slope.  There was another flat level further up, followed by a steep rise to the peak.  I decided to venture up to the higher flat level and disembark. 

When I approached the second flat level I called out to the two gentlemen ahead of me on the T-bar to let them know I was disembarking, and to be aware that my T-bar may swing towards them.  It was unlikely, but I decided to warn them as a courtesy.  Their response both surprised and intimidated me: "If your bar hits me," said one man, "I'll sue you!"  I gulped.  The other man scowled, "You shouldn't be on this lift if you can't cope with the slope!"

So, rather than disembark I found my skis angling upwards as I continued on the steep slope to the peak. 

When I reached the peak I felt panicked, I felt nervous, I wondered how I would take on this challenge.  I believed that I was not ready for this challenge. And then, for a moment, I stopped thinking, and just noticed how beautiful it was at the top of the mountain.  The snow was somehow crisper, or cleaner, and more powdery.  The sky seemed more blue, up there above the foggy mist.  The air was more fresh.  It was truly a beautiful moment, in that moment.

A cough, perhaps a giggle or a smirk, brought my attention back to my surroundings.  It was the two gentlemen whom I had allowed to intimidate me.  They seemed to be watching me, as if they were waiting for me to attempt this challenge so they could watch me fail.

I edged my way over to the ground were the drop became steep.  I peered over the slope, and 'knew' that I could not do this.  How foolish was I to think that I could ever tackle a higher peak?! 

"Hey, check you out here at the top of the hill! Nice one!"  It was my ski instructor, having a quick run between sessions, who had just turned up by my trembling side. 

"Hi Ian, I'm so glad you're here, I don't know how I ended up here, I shouldn't be here, I'm beyond my capabilities.  Can you teach me how to get down the hill?"

"You already know how to get down.  You've been doing it all week!  Remember, ski across the mountain, rather than straight down.  Lean downhill to turn.  When you want to slow down make your skis look like an upside-down 'V'!  Just do what you've been doing all along and you'll be fine", and then he grinned and 'Whoo-hoooo'd" his way down the slope.

And that when I realised.....

It's not what I know or don't know that holds me back.  It's what I believe to be true or not true that holds me back.  I had no belief in my abilities.  My instructor had a lot of belief in my abilities.  My perception that I couldn't ski this slope was creating my reality.  Whilst I had this belief, there was no ability.

"Left, right, 'V', left, right, 'V', you have done this so well on many occassions, this is just a bigger slope.  You are going to do this..." and with a quick look around (the two gentlemen had clearly become bored with my anxiety as they were no longer at the top of the hill), I pushed myself over the top of the slope.

How many times have you found yourself in a position that you felt was out of your comfort zone?  Perhaps you were saying "Yes" out of intimidation and ended up leading a project that you didn't feel ready for?  Have you fallen victim to your inner saboteur? 

A lot of my coaching clients already know what to do, it is the fear of failing, and their inner-saboteur that prevents them from confidently achieving their goals.  Do you know someone like that?

Until next week, focus on the results you know you can achieve!

On Friday last week I had the honour of facilitating a team-building event for a fantastic corporation - and one of the stars of the HR industry - Onetest.  So, armed with a former Army physical training instructor on my own team, we set about to develop activities that would not only be a lot of fun, but would remind participants of the three most important "C"s of business: Creativity, Communication, and Collaboration.

Working with the foundations that 'participation enhances learning' and 'there is no such such thing as failure, only feedback', teams were put through their paces in a style reminicent of "The Apprentice".  Tasks involved selling sunshine to Queenslanders, identifying the preferred communication styles of other organisational members, a tendering and manufacturing task, a sand-sculpting activity that examined the teams' abilities to market and brand the organisation, and a collaboration and joint-venture task which saw all teams needing to work together in order to achieve their goal - juggling multiple tasks whilst not letting any of the balls drop!

At the end of the competitive activities teams were allocated balloons based on the number of points they had earned, and discovered whether their 'results' (the balloons) could support their organisation.  The balloons were placed under a piece of solid chip-board (being careful not to 'over-inflate' the earnings) and teams discovered how many personnel in their team could stand on the board before the balloons burst.  The winning team for the day was able to support five personnel on the board with only four balloons keeping them off the ground.  A great effort!

One of the keys to the success of the event was the use of the Onetest Behavioural Profile (OBP), which is an online behavioural tool based on the DISC model.  Teams were asked to examine how the activities affected the different behavioural profiles represented within their teams.  This increase in awareness will help the organisation to ensure that the managment and communication needs of each individual are taken into consideration.  I recommend checking out the tool if you haven't already used it for team-enhancing activities:  http://www.onetest.com.au/home/Behavioural-Profile.

It was an enormous amount of fun to facilitiate a day like this with such an amazing group of people, and we look forward to providing them with more support in the future.

"An outstanding day of insights and activities. Highly recommended" John Richards, CEO.

"It was great to have facilitators so passionate about their topic.  The day provided great insight into team dynamics, presented through fun activities" Zoe Mathisen, Solutions Manager.

"Best seminar I've been to!"  William Smith-Stubbs, SME Sales Consultant.

"A fantastic team building session that was informative and great fun. Every organisation should undertake a session like this" Vanessa Buttigieg, Client Relationship Manager.

"The sessions were innovative and fun that really highlighted ways the team can work more effectively together"  Ellen Davis, Regional Manager.

"Thank you Alison and Matt for a brilliant team effectiveness day.  It was fun, insightful and taught us new things about ourselves and each other."  Naomi Lock, National Projects Manager.

The owner of the company personally visited to coach my husband for his initial coaching session, which lasted around two and a half hours.  Coaching had been requested on establishing his own business post employment, with a particular focus on his opportunities for development in sales and marketing.  What he received fell well short of our expectations. 

My husband was barely able to speak, and felt frustrated with the coach's failure to gain any insight into the preparations and plans that had already been undertaken towards achieving the goal of establishing a successful business.  Instead, the coach barreled forth with a two and a half hour lecture on how to start a business that could have easily been consumed in a sales and marketing strategy book purchased for $30 from any book store.  Any interjections from my husband insisting that he already had an established plan for what to do but needed coaching on his hesitation and nervousness about doing it were quickly dismissed before the sentences were even ended.  There was no active listening, and there was no powerful questioning. 

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines active listening as the "Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client's desires, and to support client self-expression."¹ 

Powerful questioning is defined as the "Ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client."¹

What this 'coach' had actually provided was not coaching, but possibly a valuable information session for someone who was an auditory learner.  I call it "traimentsulting", a combination of training, mentoring and consulting - but not coaching.  The following definitions come from the ICF²:

So if those descriptions are not coaching, then what is coaching?  Again, I refer to the world's most recognised coaching accreditation body for an answer:³

"What is professional coaching?
The ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Coaching honors the client as the expert in his/her life and work and believes that every client is creative, resourceful, and whole. Standing on this foundation, the coach's responsibility is to:

• Discover, clarify, and align with what the client wants to achieve;
• Encourage client self-discovery;
• Elicit client-generated solutions and strategies; and
• Hold the client responsible and accountable.

Coaches are trained to listen, to observe and to customize their approach to individual client needs. They seek to elicit solutions and strategies from the client; they believe the client is naturally creative and resourceful. The coach's job is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that the client already has."

The key difference when comparing coaching to consulting, mentoring or training is the clear distinction that the coach is the expert in their life and capable of generating their own solutions to the obstacles they face.  In other words, it involves client driven results, not coach driven results.

Unfortunately the coach in question has become quite unpleasant to deal with in regards to obtaining any kind of refund for services - and was paid a handsome fee of $2850 for his time. 

My top five tips for selecting a coach are:

• Ask for a complimentary consultation to determine whether you and the coach have a good 'fit'.  You will be able to ask a lot of questions in this session to help you determine whether the coach is able to meet your needs as a client.
• Ensure that the coach provides you with a coaching agreement that details the costs involved should you choose to end the coaching relationship prior to the initial contract.
• Ask the coach for their philosophy on coaching (upon requesting a refund, my husband received an email from his coach stating that "the aim of coaching is to share knowledge and to encourage a person to approach things a certain way with the benefit of the coach’s experience" - this would more closely fall under the banner of mentoring using the ICF's definitions).
• Ask for testimonials from clients who have been coached to achieve goals that are similar to yours.
• Check to see whether they are accredited with a coaching body such as the ICF or ANZICoaching.  Accreditations ensure that the coach has met a particular standard of training, complies with a code of conduct and has undertaken to continue their professional development (certifications are different, they are provided by the coach trainer, and may or may not meet the requirements for accreditation).

Until next week, focus on the results you want to achieve.  

Learn more information on Personnel Development Solutions' Risk Free Coaching offer.

1. http://www.coachfederation.org/icfcredentials/core-competencies/

2. http://www.coachfederation.org/about-icf/overview/

3. http://www.coachfederation.org/clients/coaching-faqs/

Using the content-filtered 40-second video clips, Ambady asked independent judges to rate the sound of the doctors speaking for qualities - hostility, warmth, humour, dominance, anxiousness, etc.  The quality which correlated most with those doctors who had been sued for malpractice was the tone of 'dominance', and those doctors who were least likely to have been sued were those who were assessed as having used a tone of 'concern'.  So it wasn't what the doctors said, it was how the doctors said it that made it possible to predict who had been sued in the past.

Those who had not been sued tended to spend approximately 20% longer in each consultation, and used more 'orientating statements' (explaining what was about to happen, explaining that the patient would have an opportunity to ask questions, discussing the tests they were running, etc), and had demonstrated concern for their patients' situation.  Yet these doctors had provided similar treatments and given the same amount and quality of information to their patients about their medication and condition, leading  researchers to suggest that it was the quality of the relationship between a doctor and their patient that determined whether or not they were sued for malpractice.

What would happen if the same was applied to leadership in the workplace? 

How would your results as a leader change if you spent a little extra time to explain a new workplace policy or project outcome?  Do you use 'orientating statements' so that your staff understand the expected process of a meeting at its commencement?  How often do you use a tone of 'dominance' in the workplace, and what impact does that tone have on your direct reports?  Do you believe that a tone of dominance engenders respect?  What would it mean to you to use a tone of contemplation and understanding when your direct reports raise their concerns about a project?

I've written in a previous blog about research that examines the impact of leader behaviour on organisational commitment.  Those leader behaviours which assist in building a relationship based on respect between the leader and followers tend to be positively related to Affective Commitment - the most productive and desireable form of organisational commitment. 

Although leadership is far more complex than the communication model between leader and follower, it is an important element nonetheless.  A simple pneumonic to remember the elements of good leader communication when the leader is responding to a follower's concerns is the word LEAD. 

• Listen
• Explain
• Acknowledge
• Discuss

The letters may need to be rearranged if the leader is initiating the discussion (Explain, Listen, Acknowledge, Discuss).

A final note to acknowledge the issue of time ("I hardly have time to provide directive leadership, let alone collaborate with my staff!").  A review of studies in the area of Organisational Commitment has consistently demonstrated that the extra time spent in providing effective leadership is an investment in higher productivity, higher retention, lower absenteeism and fewer safety incidents.

Until next week, focus on the results you want to achieve.

Contact us for information about workplace coaching.

This figure may explain why, of the 140 coaches who responded to the survey for the research report, 50% had a background in consulting and business management as the basis for their coaching occupation, whilst only 20% had a background in psychology.

In the same report, Professor Anthony Grant (Director of Coaching Psychology Unit at University of Sydney) revealed that studies have found between 25-50% of people who seek coaching have clinically significant levels of anxiety, stress, or depression - often undiagnosed, and even unrecognised by the coachee.  This suggests that some background in psychology would be beneficial to workplace coaches, even if only to be able to recognise clinically significant symptoms of mental health disorders.

My 15 years as a psychologist has informed my coaching style, particularly my understanding that our conscious influence on our behaviour is limited and constantly buffetted by our unconscious processes (memories, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, values and identity).

As an example, a sales coach who comes with business expertise as their coaching background may be hired to coach a salesperson in communication and rapport strategies.  This usually involves teaching a particular skill or strategy, and some form of behavioural or cognitive rehearsal.  However, in many cases coachees already know 'what' to do, but are unable to overcome their 'reluctance' to do it.  They often can't articulate from where that reluctance stems.  It may be that the coachee unconsciously de-values the service of selling.  This is an unconscious value until it is brought to the conscious attention of the coachee, just as memories are stored unconsciously until such time as we call upon them (recall them). 

Unconscious values, beliefs, emotions, memories and even identity statements (eg "I am a graduate") impact on our behaviours, and therefore our results.  So even the coachee who is taught communication strategies to improve their sales results will find it difficult to implement them if he/she also has unconscious belief "great salespeople are only in it for themselves", or they don't value money, or they have a very unfavourable memory of a sales experience, or their identity statements do not support their sales role.  It is not the skills that need to be taught in this situation, it is a shift in the unconscious processes that needs to be achieved.

Hence, the iceberg model of coaching. 

If we look at an iceberg, we notice about 10% of the iceberg protruding above the surface of the water.  If the iceberg represents the coachee's psyche or mind, the 10% that we can see is synonymous with the conscious processes, behaviour and results.  Lying directly beneath the water, so close to the surface that they can often be seen to 'bubble up', are emotions.  Influencing the emotions at a deeper level are unconscious thougts.  These thoughts are influenced by beliefs, further below the surface of the water.  The beliefs are impacted by values at an even deeper level, and at the very base of the iceberg is the coachee's identity, the deepest of the unconscious processes.

Have you ever seen a documentary on icebergs?  Beneath the surface of the water changes are constantly occuring in the form of tiny air bubbles being released from the ice as it begins to melt.  These tiny air bubbles travel up towards the surface of the water along the sides of the iceberg, and begin to form little grooves in the ice.  Over time, the grooves become so deep and numerous that they change the shape and balance of the entire iceberg, so that eventually the entire iceberg rolls over, and exposes an entirely new facet above the water.

The iceberg is a metaphor for the coaching style that I use to assist clients to achieve shifts at the 'deeper' level and achieve new results.  Using tried and tested psychological approaches I attempt to address the identity, values and beliefs that drive or prevent a particular behaviour.  I find that when I approach a client's goals from a deeper perspective, rather than a more behavioural approach, the results are not only achieved in a shorter amount of time, they require less effort to sustain over longer periods of time.

For testimonials from recent coaching clients please click here (more available upon request).

Until next week, focus on the results you want to achieve.

I recall (with some embarrassment now that I am a mother myself) times when I would walk through the local shopping centre with two twenty-cent pieces in my pocket, at the ready to slip into one of those electric rocking horses.  If I saw a child sitting in the saddle pleading for their mum to put some money in the slots, I would simply walk by, say "Hold on tight!", slip in my coins and walk on.  Looking back I can see that these mums perhaps had "no time", rather than "no money", so perhaps my execution of the idea of paying it forward wasn't flawless!  I was a university student at the time, and having barely any money for myself, it felt good to be 'generous'.

Later, when I joined the Army and spent some time in Canberra for officer training, I remember visiting a shopping centre on one of the coldest mornings of a brutal Winter.  I witnessed a homeless man come in from the cold, lay himself down on a bench, and fall asleep.  I wanted to help, without causing this once proud man any embarrassment.  He wasn't asking for a hand-out, he was just trying to survive.  I went to the food court and purchased a hot breakfast and a cup of coffee.  Returning to the still-sleeping man I set the food down on the bench beside him and gently shook him awake.  "Hey, your coffee is going cold, it looks like someone has left you some breakfast. Don't let it  get cold!".  I walked away and watched from behind clothes racks in a nearby store as he devoured his much needed food.

Again, I didn't quite get it right, but I was improving.  The Pay it Forward movement, which has been embraced around the world, asks the deed giver to inform the recipient of the favour they've received, and tell them about the concept.   This includes encouraging the receipient to find another person in need of a favour and 'pay it forward', also sharing the concept with them.  There are even little "Pay it Foward" cards that can be presented to the recipient.  You can download your cards from Payitforwardday.com website or click HERE.  This website was established by Australian businessman, speaker and entrepreneur, Blake Beattie.  Pay it Forward Day was held only a little over a week ago, so many people will be familiar with the concept.

I have been blessed with many years of training and experience in helping others to identify the blockages that prevent them from experiencing true joy and happiness in their lives.  I am looking for three, unsuspecting individuals who would benefit from a transformational coaching session.  If you know of anyone who would benefit, who may not be in a position to pay for quality coaching, please send me an email with your nomination.

Until next week, focus on the results you would like to achieve.

If you really want to address these habits, your task is to be aware of the emotional state you’re choosing to experience.  When a negative event occurs (eg, you get a speeding ticket in the mail, you hear about a problem that is going to have a direct impact on your results, you discover you need to work late on the night you planned to have drinks with a friend) thousands of neurons fire off in your brain.  At the same time, you create an emotional state (frustration, annoyance, helplessness, stress) and fire other neurons.  Those neurons that ‘fire together’ begin to ‘wire together’.  What does this mean?  This means that whenever you experience those negative events the neurons that fire will also trigger the emotional states.  When this happens often enough the neurological pathway created in the brain changes from a “small walking track” to a “major highway”.  This results in the reaction occurring faster and with more velocity. 

When these thoughts are triggered and are sent down the neuron super highway, your brain is also sending signals to your glands to release certain hormones that are associated with emotion.  These hormones attach themselves to your body's cells via 'receptors', and once attached the body experiences the sensation of that emotion (happiness, stress, anxiety, hunger, etc). 

Candace Pert (author of Molecules of Emotion) was the first to discover the "opiate receptor' in cells in 1972 - which was the first scientific evidence of the link between the 'intangible' mind and the physical body.  What I find fascinating though is research suggesting that each cell has multiple receptors for various hormones, and that those receptors which are used infrequently can transform themselves into receptors for the emotions that are experienced more regularly.  This means that if a person was to feel depressed most of the time, and rarely euphoric, their receptors for endorphins may actually diminish, making it even more difficult for them to experience the emotion of happiness or love.

Your thoughts represent your reality.  By changing the thoughts which underpin your emotional state consciously (at first) you begin to ‘re-wire’ the neurons, so that the event triggers more empowering thoughts, which become wired to the new emotional state at the unconscious level.  Asking yourself three questions in the face of a negative trigger can help to re-wire your response:

• What are my thoughts right now?
• What thoughts would be helpful?
• How can I challenge my unhelpful thoughts?

For example, if your mobile phone stops working you could indulge in "poor me" thinking and experience the emotions of helplessness, anxiety, anger, frustration or depression.  Instead, challenge your thoughts and look for opportunities to create empowered thoughts, such as "I choose to deal with this challenge with a certainty that all will be fine", or "This is only a challenge, it is not a disaster - other people have lost their phones or put them through the wash before" , and "There are some things I don't control, and I can control my next steps.  What is the next thing I can do to begin to overcome this challenge?"  Each of these thoughts is solution-focussed and avoids catastrophic thinking that generates the release of hormones associated with negative and disempowering emotions. 

Becoming aware that you are choosing the thoughts you think and your emotional state is the first step in taking control and beginning to re-wire your reaction to one that serves you better.

If you get a chance I recommend reading “The Brain that Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge, a book on brain plasticity and an interesting read, "Molecules of Emotion" by Candace Pert, and "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton.

Masculine energy is driven, powerful, result-focused, directive, and task-oriented.  Feminine energy is typified by a more peaceful and intuitive approach, is relationship-focused, collaborative and supportive.  Remember, I'm not describing men and women here, I'm describing the energy with which we approach leadership roles.

Most men and most women tend to adopt a masculine approach to their leadership function or executive function in the workplace.  Perhaps this is because the boardroom was traditionally a male domain where masculine energy abounded, so that when females began to find their way into this echelon it was the result of having adopted this energetic style, or they quickly learned to develop this style when introduced at this level.

What is of interest to me, however, is that when examining the kind of leader behaviours that influence affective commitment from employees (the desire to achieve organisational goals because they feel a sense of belonging and identity with the organisation), behaviours that are associated more with feminine energy become important.

A quick recap of my blog post from last week shows some of the most highly correlated leader behaviours in relation to organisational commitment using the acronyms RELATE and LEAD.  Examine these for yourself and consider whether you feel that the behaviour demonstrates more masculine energy or more feminine energy.

R = Respect the individuals on your team

E = Express an interest in the personal lives of your team

L = Let go of your need to control everything

A = Accept that mistakes will be made - use them as a learning opportunity

T = Transform your team through personal and professional development

E = Expect great relationships; focus on the things that are working well

L = Lead by example, not just how to work but also how to maintain balance

E = Elevate performance expecations and give meaning to outcomes

A = Acknowledge effort and appraise accordingly

D = Deliver on promises to provide certainty

Having spoken to many coaching clients about their difficult leadership functions, they often relate to clashes between two masculine energies (regardless of gender).  If it is the team that works to provide the results under the guidance and direction of its leader, and we want the team to want to achieve the goals of the organisation from an intrinsic perspective, theory would suggest that we would encourage masculine energetic approaches from the team members, and a fundamentally feminine energetic approach from the team leader - with the use of masculine energy only as a form of punctuation in their style.

Until next week, focus on the results you want to achieve.

Contact us for more information on Coaching.

If you are a busy, corporate executive it's probable that, like me, you don't want to read the entire dissertation to get to the guts of the findings.  I've created easy to remember acronyms that summarise these findings and some others in organisational psychology journals.

The two words you need to remember are RELATE and LEAD.  Essentially, if you remember nothing else except the basic application of these words you will be able to meet the key interests of your team. 

To RELATE is to understand your team, the individuals within your team, their personal situations, their work goals, their strengths, and the fact that they have a life that exists outside of the workplace.  To LEAD is to turn a spotlight on your own style in the workplace, are you creating the culture and ethic with your own behaviour? Are you encouraging excellence and acknowledging performance?  Are you simply correcting performance or are you transforming performance?

R = Respect the individuals on your team

E = Express an interest in the personal lives of your team

L = Let go of your need to control everything

A = Accept that mistakes will be made - use them as a learning opportunity

T = Transform your team through personal and professional development

E = Expect great relationships; focus on the things that are working well

L = Lead by example, not just how to work but also how to maintain balance

E = Elevate performance expecations and give meaning to outcomes

A = Acknowledge effort and appraise accordingly*

D = Deliver on promises to provide certainty

* For more information on performance appraisals you may find my previous blog entry helpful.

Leaders are often promoted into their management or executive roles based on their work performance in non-leader roles.  This sometimes means that the managers are better technicians than leaders.  Personnel Development Solutions can provide group training or individual coaching for leaders who express an interest in developing their skills in this area.

Until next week, focus on the results you want to achieve.  Contact us for more information about group training or coaching.